I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
