I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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