this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
