Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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