mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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