Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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