i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
