She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
