STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yo dont text me then not text me
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
