Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we made out on top of his cat.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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