a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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