Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
