margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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