Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
