Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
