don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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