If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
