You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
