jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
