You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
