Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
