you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
