She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
