It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It was a blind-side dick pic.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize