cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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