If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
