I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
