try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
