we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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