my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
