Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
