# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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