So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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