just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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