he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
