not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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