he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
