It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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