North Korea, Best Korea!
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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