So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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