took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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