i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
