i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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