How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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