i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
