apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
