So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
