Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
