It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
