I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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