you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He did a backflip because drugs
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