We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
