So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
