She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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