I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
