hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
