Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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